Job: My suffering is without consolation
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“People need to work hard on this earth like soldiers do; all during the time that we are alive, we need to work as hard as any hired worker.
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We are like slaves who keep wanting to be in the cool of evening, and we are like workers who keep waiting to be paid.
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God has given to me many months in which I think that it is useless to remain alive; he has assigned to me many nights during which I feel miserable.
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When I lie down at night I say, ‘How long will it be until I get up?’ But the nights are long, and I toss on my bed until the dawn.
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My body is covered with maggots and scabs; pus oozes out of my open sores.
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My days pass as quickly as a weaver’s shuttle; when one day ends, I never expect that things will be better the next day.
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God, do not forget that my life is as short as a single breath; I think that I will never again experience being happy.
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God, you see me now, but some day you will not see me anymore. You will search for me, but I will be gone because I will be dead.
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Like a cloud passes and disappears, people die and descend to the place where dead people are, and they do not return;
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they never return to their houses, and the people who are still alive do not remember them anymore.
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So I will not be silent; while I am suffering, I will speak; I will complain to God about what has happened to me because I am very angry.
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God, why do you watch closely what I am doing? Do you think that I am a dangerous sea monster?
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When I lie down at night, I say to myself, ’I will go to sleep and stop suffering; my pain will be less while I am sleeping.’
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But then you give me dreams that cause me to be afraid; you give me visions that terrify me;
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these things make me wish that someone would strangle me to death, rather than for me to continue to be alive when I am only a bunch of bones.
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I detest continuing to be alive; I do not want to live for many more years. Allow me to be alone, because I will be alive for only a very short time.
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We human beings are not very important; so why do you pay so much attention to us?
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You look at us every morning to see what we are doing, and you examine us every moment to see if we are doing what is right.
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When will you stop looking at me and leave me alone for a little time, long enough to swallow my own spit?
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Why do you watch me constantly? If I sin, that certainly does not harm you! Why have you set me up like a target to shoot at? Do you consider me to be a heavy load that you are forced to carry?
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If I have sinned, are you not able to forgive me for the wrong things that I have done? Soon I will lie in my grave; you will search for me, but you will not find me because I will be dead and gone.”
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